BY LITTLE LOVING
After Thomas Blackburn
By little loving,once,I sought
To conquer pain,a bank of bleached
Shells kept foods at bay -once
By little wisdoms,sought the welcome drought
By little dreaming,once, I kept
My feet from fowered paths.
I bared
The night of stealth,watched thwarted
Winds beat cycles,deafened as a crypt.
The paradox of crowds set a marble wall
Where Infed for keeping.Loneliness feeds
On open faces -once by little secing,fell
To the still centre,off the ruptured wheel of blood.
And this,the accident of fesh I hailed
Man's eternal lesson -by little yearning to unwind
Cords of closeness.
Enough,I swore,the wear
Of pulscs,stretch of flesh hunger hourly howled.
I knew redemption in the truth of hate Yet,
Hed the careful balance;once,
By little spending I had built
A hoard of peace,yet wondered at the hurt.
They kept vigil long,the winds and the stilled
Night rage,and the tread of waters proved a lie
Bursting from within...once, by little kindling,
I Fell to dying,phoenix of each pyre forestalled.
Analysis
"By Little Loving" by Wole Soyinka is a reflective poem that delves into the complexities of human emotions and experiences, particularly in the context of seeking solace and understanding amidst pain and loneliness. Here's an explanation of its key elements:
The poem begins with the speaker recounting a past attempt to overcome pain through "little loving." The image of "a bank of bleached shells kept foods at bay" suggests a barrier erected to protect oneself from emotional vulnerability. However, despite these efforts, the pain persists.
The speaker reflects on past decisions guided by "little wisdoms," such as avoiding paths adorned with flowers to shield oneself from temptation or risk. This caution leads to a sense of isolation, symbolized by the "night of stealth" and the thwarted winds that "beat cycles, deafened as a crypt."
The mention of the "paradox of crowds" highlights the irony of seeking solace in the midst of company, only to find oneself trapped behind a "marble wall" of indifference. Loneliness, the speaker observes, often thrives amidst open faces, emphasizing the disconnect between external appearances and internal struggles.
Despite attempts to find solace through detachment and self-isolation, the speaker ultimately acknowledges the futility of such endeavors. They describe a moment of realization when they "fell to the still center, off the ruptured wheel of blood," symbolizing a profound inner upheaval and acceptance of vulnerability.
The poem explores the theme of redemption through self-awareness and acceptance of one's own limitations and shortcomings. The speaker grapples with conflicting emotions, finding both truth and hate within themselves. Yet, they recognize the importance of maintaining a delicate balance amidst these complexities.
The notion of "building a hoard of peace" through "little spending" suggests a gradual accumulation of inner tranquility through small, deliberate actions. However, the speaker remains haunted by lingering doubts and uncertainties, questioning the price of inner peace amidst the persistence of hurt and turmoil.
In the final stanza, the speaker reflects on the inevitability of change and transformation, likening themselves to a dying phoenix that rises anew from the ashes of past struggles. This imagery evokes a sense of resilience and renewal, suggesting that even in moments of despair, there is the potential for rebirth and growth.
Overall, "By Little Loving" is a poignant exploration of the human condition, examining the complexities of love, pain, and self-discovery with honesty and introspection. Through its rich imagery and introspective tone, the poem invites readers to contemplate the nature of resilience and the pursuit of inner peace amidst life's uncertainties.
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